Love Does Kindness

When was the last time you were the recipient of kindness? Perhaps it was the time your spouse forgave you for doing something hurtful.  I think all of us who are married have experienced the kindness of forgiveness. Or perhaps it was the time when you were laid up and someone brought you a meal?  I still remember the first night we took in my sister’s three children, and our church family provided a meal for us.  It was great knowing we weren’t in this alone. Or maybe it was the time when a friend said something kind about you in the presence of others? Just the other night I over-heard one such encounter, when one kind lady from our Church told the other, “You and your husband have been such a blessing to our community.”  Afterwards, those kind words got me thinking – such kindness is in short-supply today.  Rarely do we hear people speak kind words.  Rarely do we see kind actions.  And yet when we look at what Love Does, right at the top of the list is this: Love Does Kindness.

After all, Kindness is at the heart of Christianity. Kindness is what moved God to act on our behalf.  Kindness is at the heart of His forgiveness to us As Paul wrote, Or do you show contempt for the riches of His kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?Romans 2:4   God’s kindness to us is why we are now His beloved.  God’s kindness to us gave us gift of eternal life.  And God’s kindness to us frees us to live the life He created us to live. And yet I am convinced that kindness is a rare commodity in our world.  In its place is judgment, criticism, and selfishness.  It’s a dog eat dog world out there.  I don’t know anyone who couldn’t use a little more kindness.

So this morning we are going to take a fresh look at God’s love expressed in His kindness toward us. For if God’s kindness leads us to repentance, that means He has  given us the same potential to love others with His kindness. So the question before us today is simply this: 1.  What does it mean to love with God’s kindness?

And to help us grasp that I want to start with the most basic definition of His kindness and that is this: Kindness lends or gives what is needed.  And what we needed most was a Savior.  The Bible is very clear in telling us we were powerless to save our selves. We needed someone to do for us what we could not do for ourselves.  We couldn’t earn our salvation by our good works.  Our righteousness was like filthy rags, because we were stained by the blackness of sin.  So we needed a Savior.  So God gave us what we needed by giving us Jesus. For God so loved the world that He gave His One and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.  So God gave us Jesus to remove our condemnation.  No more judgment.  God gave us Jesus to purify us from all sin.  No more alienation from God. God gave us Jesus so we could posses eternal life. Now we can know God. God did all this because He loved us.  God gave us everything we needed in Jesus to save us who could not save ourselves.  Kindness lends or gives what is needed.

But God’s kindness does more than just give us what we need.  God’s kindness dispenses grace to the undeserving. To put it in practical terms:  Kindness does good to those who are irritating you–  to those who offend you, annoy you, hurt you and make life difficult for you.  In this way, God’s kindness is closely related to God’s patience. Patient love is a forbearing love that helps us endure difficult people  – to stay long under the heat! It’s patient love that keeps anger in check when difficult people wrong you. So kindness is the flip side of patience.  Whereas patient love helps restrain your anger with difficult people, kindness leads you to give love to difficult people.

So then,this is the kind of love that, rather than have nothing to do with the person, you take a constructive approach so as to help the person.  It’s a kindness that treats the undeservingbrother the same way as you would treat the deserving brother.

That’s what Jesus did!In fact, Jesus gives us an illustration of this kindness in the story of the Good Samaritan. In that story, Jesus tells us of a traveler who is beaten, robbed and left for dead.  First, a priest comes by who deliberately goes to the other side of the road.  Then a Levite comes by and does the same.  Here’s where we pick up the story:  Jesus says, A Samaritan, a he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him.  He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine.  Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him.  The next day he tookout two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. “Look after him,” he said, “and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.” Luke 10:33-35

What we learn from Jesus’ illustration is this: Kindness takes the initiative to get involved in the needs of others.  The Samaritan saw this man’s need and then did whatever it took to meet that need.  First, He went to him.He allowed this man’s need to interrupt his schedule. To him there was nothing on his schedule more important then this fellow human being.  He bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine.  He did what he could with what he had.  Most of the time God has already given us what we need to help those in need. Next, He gave him a ride to an inn.  He was willing to get messy. Loaded this guy into His SUV.Next,He stayed with him and cared for him.  His kindness got him personally involved.  That’s what love does.  Next we see that He paid for his extended care.  His kindness cost himsomething. About the equivalent of two days wages of a common laborer.  Finally, we see that He promised to return.  His kindness was willing to see it through to the end.   There’s a reason he is called “the Good Samaritan.”  Here, Jesus spells out six acts of kindness.  The good Samaritan loved his neighbor.  The Good Samaritan got involved to meet this man’s need. And that’s just the point…  Kindness doesn’t see a need and avoid it.  Kindness does not expect someone else to come to the rescue. Kindness does not make up excuses to get involved because it’s too risky or too costly.  In other words, Kindness doesn’t look for a way out but for a way in.

And if we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit this kind of love doesn’t come naturally to us.  Obviously it’s easy to be kind to those who are kind to us.  But what about that neighbor who annoys you?  What about the guy on the pickle ball court who needles you?  Or the clerk who is impatient with you?  Or the sister who is always crossing boundaries with you?  Or the son who blames you for his problems?  Rather than avoid them or ignore them, how would Jesus have us do good to them?  Perhaps Jesus would have you give a kind word rather than a put down. Give a smile rather than a glare.  Give of your time. Open your wallet.  Be a blessing rather than bring a curse.  Like Bob Goff said.  “Love difficult people, you’re one.”

This is one of the reasons God gave us His Holy Spirit.  He knew we would have a hard time loving those who are unkind. Left to ourselves, He knew we would go on ignoring and avoiding difficult people. But the fruit of the Spiritis love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23  So the good news, is that if you have Jesus, you already have it in you to be kind, like Jesus.

So really, the question for us this morning is this:2.  How would God have us cultivate our kindness potential?  And I would say there’s at least two ways:

First, by continually remembering His kindness to us   Listen to how Titus describes God’s kindness.  He says:At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. In God’s eyes, it appears that we were quite unlovable.  But here’s the good news: But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit.Titus 3:3-5

It is important for us to continually remember God’s kindness to us in Jesus.  To remember that God loved us in spite of our sin, rebellion, and foolishness.

This is why we need to continually remember the Gospel.  The good news is thatGod poured out His kindness to us when we didn’t deserve it.  The Bible says all of us were sinners deserving of judgment.  All of us were enemies of God, we were haters.  We were the ones who didn’t trust Him.  We were selfish, difficult, prideful.  We hurt others, damaged ourselves and offended God.  The only thing we deserved was to be left in our sins, separated from the God who loves us and given over to the empty way of life we’d chosen. But… But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, HE CAME FOR US, HE DIED FOR US AND HE SAVED US not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy.Titus 3:4 We’ve been saved by the kindness of God! And the kindness of God has a name: JESUS!

That’s why we need to remember the gospel of grace on a regular basis. That’s why we need to always remember Jesus.  And that’s why we need to learn to tell our story of faith.  For when I remember WHAT God saved me from, WHO He was willing to sacrifice for me, HOW much he has forgiven me, and ALL He has given me… then every time I encounter an SELFISH, PRIDEFUL, MALICE-FILLED, HATE-FILLED FOOL, that would normally be intolerable – I can see them with new eyes – the eyes of the redeemed, then I too can give them the same kindness God gave me.  And EVERYONE needs kindness, because everyone has been Damaged by sin. Let us never forget how kind God has been to us, and we will grow in kindness to others.

That’s one way to cultivate kindness in our lives. Here’s another: By opening our eyes to see the needs of others  In his book, Love Beyond Reason, John Ortberg spells out how to see the needs of others.  He imply says, “The work of love is the work of paying attention. Love notices.  Love listens.  Love remembers.”  And then love acts! On the positive side of kindness, we pay attention to what’s important to a person. When is her birthday?  What kind of coffee does he like?  What encourages him?  What makes her smile?  On the negative side, when we encounter a difficult person, what are we looking for: What makes him angry?  What makes her insecure?  What’s behind his complaint, her criticism?  Love is in the details. If you and I are to spread kindness, we need to pay attention to people.  We need to learn their stories. It’s often those who need kindness the most who are the most annoying or irritating people. So lets pay attention to them. And chances are, when you do, God will give you opportunity to show them kindness.

This IS how Jesus lived among us.  He paid attention. He noticed people… all the time. He noticed Zacchaeus in a tree, and inititated a relationship with him. He saw the lame man by the pool who had no one to help him into the waters, and he healed him.  He noticed the woman who had touched his cloak, and he healed her.  He saw Matthew sitting in a tax-collectors booth and made him His friend.  He saw the children who were being kept from him and made sure they were brought to Him.  Jesus noticed suffering.  Jesus noticed rejection. Jesus noticed the lonely.  Jesus noticed the harassed and the helpless.  His eyes were open to the needs of others, and when he saw He responded with kindness.  And we can do that too.

I want to close with a story about someone who paid attention. This story comes by way of Tony Campolo, who while traveling in Hawaii, still on Eastern Standard time, wandered into a diner at 3:00 in the morning. The only other customers that morning were a group of prostitutes who had finished for the night.  Listening to their conversation, Tony noticed something. One of the ladies (Agnes) mentioned that her birthday was the next day, and she’d never in her life had a birthday party.  So after these gals left, Tony did a little investigating and learned from Harry, the guy behind the counter, that these ladies came each night to this diner.  So Tony asked if he could come back the next night and throw a party.  Harry said okay, but only on the condition that his wife do the cooking and he be allowed to make the cake.  So what happened next?  This is how Tony tells it:

At 2:30 the next morning, I was back at the diner.  I had picked up some crepe-paper decorations and had made a sign out of big pieces of cardboard that read, “Happy Birthday, Agnes!”

The woman who did the cooking must’ve gotten the word out on the street, because by 3:15 every prostitute in Honolulu was there.  It was wall-to-wall prostitutes… and me!

At 3:30 the door of the diner swung open and in came Agnes and her friend.  I had everybody ready, and when they came in we all screamed “Happy Birthday!”

Never have I seen a person so flabbergasted.  Her mouth fell open, and her legs buckled.  When we finished singing, her eyes moistened; when the cake was carried out she started to cry.

Harry gruffly mumbled, “Blow out the candles, Agnes.”  Come on!  If you don’t blow out the candles, I’m gonna hafta blow out the candles.”” Finally, he did. The cutting of the cake took even longer.  “Cut the cake, Agnes.  We all want some cake.”

“Look, Harry is it OK if I keep the cake a little while; if we don’t eat it right away?”

“Sure. If you want to keep it, keep it. Take the cake home if you want.”

“Can I?” Then, looking at me: “I just live down the street.  I want to take the cake home, OK?  I’ll be right back.”

She carried the cake out the door like it was the Holy Grail.  We stood their motionless, a stunned silence in the place. Not knowing what else to do, I broke the silence by saying, “What do you say we pray?”

Looking back on it now, it seems more than strange for a sociologist to be leading a prayer meeting with a bunch of prostitutes in a diner in Honolulu at 3:30 in the morning.  But then it just felt like the right thing to do. I prayed for Agnes; for her salvation, that her life would be changed.  That God would be good to her.

When I finished, Harry leaned over the counter and said with a trace of irritation: “Hey, you never told me you were a preacher.  What kind of church do you belong to?”

In one of those moments when just the right words come, I answered, “I belong to a church that throws birthday parties for prostitutes at 3:30 in the morning.”

Harry waited for a moment, and almost sneered as he answered, “No you don’t. There’s no church like that.  If there was, I’d join it.”

“Wouldn’t we all,” Campolo said next.  “Wouldn’t we all.”

This is the kind Church Jesus came to create.  And this is the kind of people we can be if we let Jesus love through us – with His Kindness! With aKindness that pays attention a Kindness that withholds judgment, a Kindness that takes the initiative… a Kindness that loves the unlovable. Our world needs this kind of kindness. We need this kindness. May God fill us with His kindness so we might love like Him. Let’s pray.